What do I feel now?

A mixture of everything

Excited, nervous, happy, sad, calm, afraid, every bit of the many feelings.

I rasa syukur that finally I found the man whom I know is the perfect match for me. He is not Mr Perfect, but he has everything to balance my life, and for that I am thankful. I never thought I would finally meet my Darling K. After all the heart break moments I had to go through, God apparently save the best for last. DK came at the right time, in which, at first knowing him, I never thought I would ended up marrying him. But as I’m writing this, I know he is worth all the pain I had to go through earlier. I never gave up hope of settling down with the right man. “Ungakapan Jodoh itu memang Allah yang tetapkan, tetapi sebagai hambanya kita harus berusaha untuk mendapatkannya. Jodoh tak datang bergolek depan mata” that is what I always tell myself. Tried everything but never gave up. I eat everyday, I pray everyday but never let go of hope to find THE LOVE.

I met DK about a year ago. It is actually funny how I knew him. He is not in my friends circle, never knew before this man. But sometime in August last year, when I thought I was really heart broken, DK came into the picture. Apparently my issue of kena leter by my mother to get married is also an issue for him with his mom. He was 36 last year, being the eledest, mak mana tak bising tengok anak dia tak kahwin-kahwin lagi. Out of stress, he decided to write to Light & Easy radio station about his problem (after listening the advert on the radio) His intention at that time was to hope a girl will listen and tell him, OK! Let’s get Married and save the day!

But the radio station did not respond immediately, only after 3 months he wrote that they decide they would published his problem for the morning show. I don’t listen to that particular station. But on that 13th August 2009, my boss and colleagues were calling me very early in the morning. I did not realise the many miss calls until I reached office.

The minute I arrived, both my boss and Abby said : “Aiyoh, Aida, kenapa tak jawab phone? We wanted you to listen to the radio this morning. There was this one mamat, his name is Khairul.. Dia stress mak dia leter suruh kawen!”

And my selamba replied : “So???”

My boss said it will be good for me get to know this mistery guy as we both have same issue : Mak leter suruh kawen!!! We would understand each other and I can just forget the misery that I was going through at that time. Go on a date, try something new and exciting, no point nak bergundah gulana.

The first thing came on my mind at that time was “Poyonya mamat ni! Macam lah masalah dunia mak leter suruh kawen sampai nak masuh radio!”

And I totally ignored my boss and colleague. But they did not stop there, the whole office was practically talked about it the whole day! And still feels it was a good idea I find this mamat name Khairul Adlan. I ingored, but I did listen to the station the next day. His problem was aired for 2 days during the morning show (glamer mamat ni!!!) and I heard his voice and all the callers who called in to give their say. Still…. not interested!! Hehehehe. But my boss and colleagues tak give up lagi. After few days, I gave up. I told them whoever can get this mamat email or handphone number, then I will do the rest. Time tu rasa boleh berlagak because I doubt that the radio station will entertain as the show on him has ended. Surprisingly, they replied and gave Abby his email add. (Me and my big mouth!!!) I had no choice, so I wrote him a long email, A VERY LONG ONE! It was a day before my 34th birthday. When I wrote to him, it felt like writing to a long lost friend. I gave him advice, gave him some examples to what extent my mom did to embarrass me, leter me about marriage. I did tell him, if your mom just leter and did not do any of the above embarrassing moment, then there is nothing to worry about, your case is just a small matter! Amik kau, aku yang leter dalam email tu, hehehehe. After proof read ( 3 kali tau) I pressed the send button! And gladly told my boss and everyone I dah hantar email, so jangan kacau I lagi.

And of course, mamat replied!!!!! I was eerrr…. eeerrr…. eeerr….

We started writing emails, then add FB, when I saw his pix, ok gak mamat ni, saw his pix with his family, I can sense he comes from a good family and he is a decent guy. By that time, me, the very peramah Aida Yurani chats with him almost everyday in the cyber world. After 2 weeks, me and my big mouth (again!!) casually asked him out. My intention at that time was pure nothing (actually I takde gang nak buka puasa that Sunday, hehehehe) And mamat said, ok, JOM. So… we met…. we decided to meet at The Curve. I treat him for buka puasa since it was a few days after his 36th Birthday, he belanja coffee at Starbucks after dinner. We talk and talk and talk. Rasa macam dah lama kenal. Then it was raya, and we met again after raya, twice, satu pegi dinner, satu pegi tengok teater. Suddenly after 3 dates, and everyday chat/sms/phone calls, last year 22nd Oct 2009, mamat poyo ni made his bold move.

I teased him and joke about it, as I thought he buat lawak bodoh, but after a while… Alamak, mamat poyo ni SERIOUSSS!!!!!!!…. I terus jadi kelu, tak terkata, terdiam kejap. I ignored him for a few days. But DK never give up. He knew I was going out with 3 different guys at that time, I thank my friends yang made so many effort to matchmake me at that time. I just left DK’s intention for a few days, then dia ajak pegi dinner. So we decided to meet at Italianese at the Curve. He was really gabra that day, janji at Curve, dia pegi One Utama, kelakar betul!!! That night during dinner, him, being the gentleman, made his move. He explained, he asked, he gave reasons why, and so on, still I did not response. He said take all the time I need, He knew I was still hurt, he is not there to be my rebound guy, he is serious.

After a few days, I asked him to meet my brothers, meet my friends, he tagged along with the agenda, being himself. At that point I noted a lot in him. Dia layan ja apa I nak, at the same time I met his siblings. When I told him you need to meet babah, he said OK, Bila? wah… that morning when we had breakfast with babah (mama takde time tu, she was still in Surabaya) I yang gabra terlebih. 2 very important man in my life are meeting with each other for the first time. Diorang relax ja, minum, makan, sembang. I still remembered what babah told me on that day : “Khairul tu betul2 Da… dia bukan main-main. Kakngah macam mana? Dah fikir habis? Babah tak risau dia, I’m worry about you!’

Hmmm…. dia bawak I jumpa his parents, his family, he finally met mama….

On new year, again he pop up the marriage question! By this time I said YES!

We made our plans, we told our family, his family met my family on Valentine Day this year for merisik and discussed about the wedding. Ever since that, I know I am ready for 22nd OCT 2010, exactly a year after he actually asked me to marry him. We had our engagement ceremony on 6th Jun 2010 and I will enjoy the next few days, relax myself, knowing all the preparation for the wedding this weekend is in order.

Thank you my Darling K, thank you for everything, thank you for making me happy, thank you for taking me seriously, thank you for taking me to share the rest of your life with. I am looking forward to grow old together with you.

Now I can live my life. Eat, Pray and Love every single day with you!

Yeah, this is what I feel at this very moment, the thought of Kawen Lari. Easy what, just go and get married and skip the preparation process, hehehehe. Wali? I can heret my brother with me. 2 days after the merisik agenda, both me and and my darling K felt the pressure. Both our mothers got their engine started, mama actually bought so many things last week when she was in KL.

I was on the phone with Khairul last week, and I could sense he sounded so stress with this and that. I asked him what’s with the tone? Stress already? He said, yeah, banyak nya benda nak buat. That is when I said : “Jom, kita kawen lari nak? Tak yah susah2 nak prepare segala benda, yang penting, we are married and everyone is happy” I wished he had replied : JOM!, but instead, him, always being the wise one said : “That is very tempting dear, but NO, we can’t do that. Unless you want your dad to take out his gun and my father keluar parang”

Oh dear, we are back to square one! Hehehehe.

Although the kenduri is after raya, but I just realise that there are so many things to prepare! Ouchh… I have made a very-very-very-very-very-very-very-very long list. Talking, thinking, discussing about the engagement kenduri pun is already exhausting! And looking at the invitation list??? Aiyoh, sangat panjang. My dad said : “alang2 jemputan ramai for tunang, panggil tok kadi terus!” Oh, no way father, not yet

Babah’s immediate family is already a very long list, mom’s side lagi, Khairul’s family, our friends. And for the wedding, it is such an impossible thing for me to do at Dewan, apa lagi buat kat hotel. With that very long guest list, I think I buat kat rumah saja. Perhaps it will not be as grand if we do it in hotel, but I am sure it will be meriah, and most important, all the family and friends are there to share my happy day.

My mom has appointed aunty Yot to be head of everything, hence I have to liase with her for every single detail. Mama is in SP, and she comes back every 3 weeks I guess, so, not enough time for her to look into every single detail. Past 2 weekend, I’ve been to many shops with Aunty Yot survey things, buying things, ordering things, etc-etc-etc. And I realised that I am a very fussy person. During adik and kakteh’s wedding, I was just the coordinator, I don’t decide, I leave that to mom. My job was to make sure everything goes as plan. But now, I want to know everything, from the colour, to its material, bla-bla-bla. Mom told me that she wanted to get something nice for the groom’s family as doorgift during akad nikah ceromony. Usually, I will just say, ok mama, whatever you like is fine with me. But this time I told mama, I want to look at the sample first. If it does not suit my liking, then it is a NO. Now mama yang tensen, hehehehe.

But I thank God I have already many people willing to volunteer. Last Sunday, I got my friend to come to my opah’s house to have a look at the place and discuss the decorations for the small engagement we will have soon. Nasib baik my friend, a wedding planner, can see eye to eye with aunty yot. If they cannot agree, I die!!! Hehehehe. And mom calls me everyday, telling me this and that, what she wants, what she wants me to buy. My weekends are busy doing for preparation, but will curi masa go dating will darling K

We are going kursus kawen this weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. Friday is a public holiday, hence I will use it to cari barang lagi with Aunty Yot. Babah kept reminding me, be moderate at all times, not to waste, yang penting, semua selamat, tak payah membazir or berlebih-lebihan, I just hope mama understands that. The thing is, she has been waiting for me to kawen for a long time, and this is her last kenduri of her children, so I know she will make sure she gets what she wants. Aiyoh!

Ok, chow. Malam ni balik lambat lagi, must stop this, every night going out meeting people, tengok wayang lah, makan lah. Hehehehe.

Take care everyone!

*still….. the thought of kawen lari is so tempting*